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 Dark Inferno

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Cecilia Lore
First Generation
First Generation
Cecilia Lore


Posts : 27

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Amethyst Dream
Skill 2:
Skill 3:

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PostSubject: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptyWed Feb 08, 2017 11:28 am

Skill Set Name: Dark Inferno
Elemental Property: Fire
Stat Specialization: Offensive, Defensive & Supplementary
Skill Set Information: This magic is a lot like regular fire but the difference is how it's used and it's color, while normal fire magic is red with a white core Dark Inferno as the name suggest is black with a white core. The method of using this magic is to use the hate, anger, pain and blood lust of the caster. In essence this magic is simply a corrupted version of fire magic.

Passives:
-One Hot Body
Due to her magic, Cecilia's body temperature is higher than normal and because of this, cold weather doesn't bother her.(Note: this does not apply to the snow)

-Flame Hopping
Cecilia has the ability to use a large 5 ft tall, 3 ft wide fire as a way to teleport passively. She simply steps into the flames and is teleported to the next closest fire within 5 meters max. If an enemy tries to touch the flames of the fire as she teleports away, they will get burned.(1% of Cecilia's total attack is received as damage unless they can block it.) Can only be used 2 times per thread at F rank and goes up by 2 at every other rank

Skill Set Strengths:
-This magic is strong against plant based magics and skills because it can easily burn them to ashes(+30 attack).
-This magic's techniques has the potential to hit multiple targets

Skill Set Weakness:
-This magic is weak to water based magics because it can put out the flames(-30 attack)
-Can harm allies if they are in the path of the technique's destruction.

F Rank Spells:

D Rank Spells:


Last edited by Cecilia Lore on Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:20 am; edited 2 times in total
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Synthia
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First Generation
Synthia


Berries : 250,000
Posts : 344

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Skill 2:
Skill 3:

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptyFri Feb 10, 2017 3:18 pm

Please tend to the bold sections, I will review again once you have done so.

Cecilia Lore wrote:
Skill Set Name: Dark Inferno
Elemental Property: Fire
Stat Specialization: Offensive, Defensive & Supplementary
Skill Set Information: This magic is a lot like regular fire but the difference is how it's used and it's color, while normal fire magic is red with a white core Dark Inferno as the name suggest is black with a white core. The method of using this magic is to use the hate, anger, pain and blood lust of the caster. In essence this magic is simply a corrupted version of fire magic.

Passives:
-One Hot Body
Due to her magic, Cecilia's body temperature is higher than normal and because of this, cold weather doesn't bother her.(Note: this does not apply to the snow)

-Flame Hopping
Cecilia has the ability to use a large fire as a way to teleport passively. She simply steps into the flames and is teleported to the next closest fire within 35 meters max. Is there a cool-down? Also if you want this as a passive rather than an ability, lower the range by a bit - Perhaps to around twenty-five or somewhere in that area.

Skill Set Strengths:
-This magic is strong against plant based magics and skills because it can easily burn them to ashes. - Please list the bonus in numerical fashion: Does it grant a +10, +20, etc?

-This magic's techniques can hit up to multiple targets - How many?

Skill Set Weakness:
-This magic is weak to water based magics because it can put out the flames - As mentioned before, please list concrete numbers.
-This magic is also weak against earth magic. - As stated above, please list details of how it affects the stats of techniques and by how much.

F Rank Spells:

D Rank Spells:
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James Smith
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James Smith


Berries : 1,500,000
Posts : 142

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptySat Feb 11, 2017 7:27 pm

Kino here. I was told you had a hard time understanding Wolf so I'm here to help, Cecil.

First thing we'll cover is Wolf's points, I'll break it down as far as I can go to help you understand what she needs you to have done:

[Quote=Wolf]-Flame Hopping
Cecilia has the ability to use a large fire as a way to teleport passively. She simply steps into the flames and is teleported to the next closest fire within 35 meters max. Is there a cool-down? Also if you want this as a passive rather than an ability, lower the range by a bit - Perhaps to around twenty-five or somewhere in that area.[/Quote]

So let's break it into bullet points so I can better help you understand.
  • Is there a cool-down? A.K.A. Add a cooldown - A long one. Ten posts will do, longer if you want.
  • "Also if you want this as a passive rather than an ability, lower the range by a bit - Perhaps around twenty five or somewhere in that area" - Personally I disagree here. That's a rather long range for a seemingly instant teleport. I want it as five meters max.


[Quote=Wolf]-This magic is strong against plant based magics and skills because it can easily burn them to ashes. - Please list the bonus in numerical fashion: Does it grant a +10, +20, etc?
[/Quote]

[Quote=Wolf]-This magic is weak to water based magics because it can put out the flames - As mentioned before, please list concrete numbers.[/Quote]

We have a stat system here based off of Attack and Defense mainly. What Wolf is asking here is if you can add how specifically more powerful your stats are when fighting against these specific elements. Fire v Water? You're going to suffer a debuff onto your attack because Water beats Fire. Fire versus some Plant things? Your going to gain the advantage, therefore a buff in your Attack against these specifically. This buff, and debuff, will not apply anywhere else besides dealing with these other elements. Fire tore through some plants that were acting like a shield? +Whatever number you apply to your buff, but your attack returns to normal when your fire is paired up against the shielded. If it makes it to them. Same applies for water. We just need some concrete numbers down to make sense of what you're saying instead of vaguely saying that this element automatically beats this element, because that may not be the case 100% of the time. Whatever you make your buff will be your debuff, and don't make it large since these are nothing more than glorified passives please. The max I'll let you get away with is a +30 and -30 Attack.

[Quote=Wolf]Technique Name: Dark Inferno Archer
Technique Rank D
Technique Focus Attack
Technique's Duration 5 posts
Technique Description: This is a long ranged spell where Cecilia creates a bow and arrow out of black flames. She can shoot the arrows at enemies who are up to 35 meters away from her. When an arrow makes contact, it'll explode into a small fire. Depending on the type of surface it makes contact with, the fire could just go out or flare up and become worse. Cecilia can create as many arrows as she wants over the course of 5 posts. - This should have a limit as a D-Ranked ability[/Quote]

She's saying to add a limit here, like a physical number of arrows you can physically manifest. This is mainly to avoid the fact that, you're essentially saying you can create millions of arrows within 5 posts regardless of whether or not you can launch them all. A 10 arrow limit should do, seeing as this has no cooldown and you can immediately start it back up right afterwards.

[Quote=Wolf]Technique Name: Dark Inferno Flaming Body
Technique Rank D
Technique Focus Attack & Defensive
Technique's Duration 5 posts
Technique Description: Cecilia's entire body is enveloped in a thin yet protective layer of flames that acts as an armor as well allows her to deal more than just regular physical damage in close-quarters combat but also deal first degree burns on her opponents' skin. - As with before, please be specific and list how much it actually affects your damage.[/Quote]

So since we're basing this off of your attack again, and you're bringing in different variations of damage by saying that you do more than physical damage by adding a burning effect - Fire Damage. Put it at +10 Attack on your end -- it's as high as I'll go for a D rank.

Now we'll go over all of my problems on your app.

For full disclaimer, both Cecil and Wolf gave me full reign over this app.

[Quote=Cecil]-Flame Hopping
Cecilia has the ability to use a large fire as a way to teleport passively.[/Quote]

Alright, I want to see a percentage of what the damage would do if they touch this "Large Fire" as you teleport away. If they come in contact with it as you teleport, 1% of your total Attack is received to them as damage unless their defense can block it. I would also like to see some length width and height added onto that, "Large Fire" is kinda vague.

[Quote=Cecil]-This magic is strong against plant based magics and skills because it can easily burn them to ashes. [/Quote]

I want to see this edited, as saying it can easily turn magic based plants to ash is kind of assuming those spells haven't taken any counter-measures. Just putting the +Buff would do rather than actually describing what would happen on the app. If you destroy the plants ICly, and the situation is right go ahead and say they turned to ash if there's nothing else your opponent can do.

[Quote=Cecil]-This magic's techniques can hit up to multiple targets [/Quote]
So you're saying this is AoE? Whoever is caught in it gets hit. Could you reword it to say it has the potential to hit multiple targets? The way you're wording it now is kind of off.

[Quote=Cecil]
Skill Set Weakness:
-This magic is weak to water based magics because it can put out the flames
-This magic is also weak against earth magic.
[/Quote]

Okay, so, just add all the elements into the first weakness and give it the set debuff we talked about before, and also come up with a second weakness. Personally I don't see having multiple elementals to be multiple weaknesses. They'll be applying the same debuff, doesn't stack.

[Quote=Cecil]
F Rank Spells:
[/Quote]

How tall and wide is this explosion?

[Quote=Cecil]
[spoiler="D Rank Spells"]Technique Name: Dark Inferno Barrier
Technique Rank D
Technique Focus Defensive
Technique's Duration 3 posts
Technique Description: Cecilia blows fire from her mouth while simultaneously moving herself around in a circle in order to create a barrier of black flames around herself to protect herself as well as allies from enemy attacks. This barrier is about 5 feet high and only a few inches thick.
[/Quote]

Okay so how's this work? If it's just a wall of flames can it really stop any attacks from reaching? Especially when it's only a few inches thin. Did you mean this stops physical assaults onto yourself and allies? Preventing your enemies from reaching close combat ranges? If so please add this, if not could you better explain how this stops attacks in general from reaching you. I would also like to see a max range for how far out this barrier can go, all things considered you said you can protect allies with it to. Does it completely surround you? How many people can actually fit inside?

That should be all for now.

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James Smith
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James Smith


Berries : 1,500,000
Posts : 142

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptySat Feb 11, 2017 7:28 pm

The quotes will stand as they are. they do their job regardless. Didn't know I couldn't specifically add y'alls names to the quotes the ezpz way.
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Cecilia Lore
First Generation
First Generation
Cecilia Lore


Posts : 27

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Amethyst Dream
Skill 2:
Skill 3:

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptySun Feb 12, 2017 7:43 pm

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James Smith
First Generation
First Generation
James Smith


Berries : 1,500,000
Posts : 142

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptyMon Feb 13, 2017 12:59 am

Quote :
Technique Name: Dark Inferno Burst
Technique Rank F
Technique Focus Attack
Technique's Duration 1 post
Technique Description: Cecilia let's out an explosive burst of her black flames which is 4 ft tall and 5 ft wide. the flames reach up to 15 meters in front of her and will cause first degree burns if they manage to make contact with bare skin.

Make the max this can reach up to 8 meters please.

Quote :
-Flame Hopping
Cecilia has the ability to use a large 5 ft tall, 3 ft wide fire as a way to teleport passively. She simply steps into the flames and is teleported to the next closest fire within 5 meters max. If an enemy tries to touch the flames of the fire as she teleports away, they will get burned.(1% of Cecilia's total attack is received as damage unless they can block it.)

You forgot to add the cooldown.

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Cecilia Lore
First Generation
First Generation
Cecilia Lore


Posts : 27

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Amethyst Dream
Skill 2:
Skill 3:

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PostSubject: Re: Dark Inferno    Dark Inferno  EmptyMon Feb 13, 2017 1:20 am

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