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Jeweled Seas: New Wave

A Unique AU One Piece RP
 
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 Revolutionary Positions Registration

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Poppas Bomba
Zerina Zayne
Birb
Lolly Ze Kandi
Lucky Wilshire
Azure Snow
Roman Reigns
Destiny
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AuthorMessage
Destiny

Destiny


Position : Weaver of Fate
Posts : 1533

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Apr 12, 2015 6:17 pm

Revolutionary Positions Registration T7cpIoG

Revolutionary Positions Registration 7MmuBp6

Revolutionary Positions Registration 9fxdsp0
Chief Commander Requirements:
+ Must have at least 500million Bounty/Rep. (Can add both bounty and Rep. Together.)
+ Must have been a Former Commander.
+ Rank criterion X-Z
+ Requires majority ruling of the commanders.


Chief Commander: Alvis Amaranthus Kan-Laon "The Paragon" [Level ?]
Chief Commander:

Revolutionary Positions Registration BOwiaMD

Revolutionary Positions Registration EWfHbBo
Commander Requirements:

+ Must have been a Former Lieutenant.
+ Rank criterion of A-SS
+ Must receive a test's approval.


Commander: Baldr Brynja Bein "The Unscathed" [Level 81]
Commander:

Commander: Väga Magus "The Stray" [Level 79]
Commander:

Commander:

Commander: (Lilly Z. Lux)

Commander: (Lillie Elric)

Revolutionary Positions Registration BOwiaMD

Revolutionary Positions Registration LFq8kzB

Lt. Commander: Sharlotta Rosemire "Stone Breaker" [Level 74]
Lt. Commander:

Lt. Commander: Ginjo Kaido "Demon Torque" [Level 72]
Lt. Commander:

Lt. Commander: (DatBoiWatUp)

Lt. Commander: (Yukiko)

Lt. Commander: (OPEN)


Revolutionary Positions Registration BOwiaMD

Revolutionary Positions Registration OspHGlT
Lieutenant Requirements:
+ Have to be a Revolutionary.
+ Rank criterion of C-B


Lieutenant: Lelouch D Wyatt
Lieutenant: (Open)
Lieutenant: (Open)
Lieutenant: (Open)
Lieutenant: (Open)

Code:

[b]Crew:[/b] (Name of Crew/ Group/ Or guild. If none put N/A)
[b]Position:[/b] (What Position?)
[b]Tier:[/b] (What Tier is your character)
[b]Activity:[/b] (How active can you be?)
[b]Why:[/b] (Why you should have the Position?)
[b]Sample:[/b] (500 or more word Sample as you playing as the Position selected)

Patches wrote:

24th September 2016: *Revolutionary Leaders (Lieutenant and up) gain 30%|10% Bounty|Beli bonus on all tasks up to November.)
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Roman Reigns

Roman Reigns


Position : Revolutionary Commander
Berries : 700,000
Posts : 73

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Gun Kata - "Tamashī Jūden"
Skill 2:
Skill 3:

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Aug 23, 2015 10:25 am

This seems so empty, so i'll be breaking the revolutionary virginity here, sadly enough >.<

Crew: revolutionary army
Position: Or lieutenant if there is an npc either or..idk if i have to work my way up or not
Tier: Tier 1
Activity: I am a college student and i also work, so my free time will be mostly put into the rp site and studying. I can be reached by my skype contacts if you need an immediate response from me, and i'm also pretty reliable to begin with. There are computers at the college and i have a labtop at home. Realistically speaking, we all have lives outside of this, but we always make time for the things we enjoy ^_^, hopefully you can believe in that at least.
Why: I already had a bad experience from another one piece site, and i always wanted to be a part of a jointed venture of where everyone story matters, and how they all inter-lap in the end. I want to contribute to that story, and i feel as if Romans design will do just that. Roman is a man was born in the north blue's very own Omphalos Island, he was birthed in war and in his very own veins pumps the blood of ruthless clan members. Imagine the childhood of an eight year old with a suitcase full of pistols and money, having to kill at an early age or else his short life will lead to a shorter end. However, what changed Roman from he rest of these one track minded clans-people was an idea. A simple mercenary traveler spilling stories of life outside of this, pirates, marines that stand for justice. Looking around, the blood of the innocent and the guilty alike, as well as rumors that the marines have purposely not chosen to get involved in the clan war to end it, Roman thought that it was nothing more than a hell on earth that an action less god chooses to watch over in spite to them. There was no saviors in this world, there was no justice, it was only corruption on all forms who only existed for self gratification, and roman chooses to end it. Roman wants then to know that it was him, Roman wants them to know that their in-actions created him, making their destruction all the more enjoyable. Government is corruption, taxes creates pirates, a revolution is needed. Roman fights like a madman using the skills he cultivated from the clan wars, simply transitioning his old war for a new and purposeful one.
Sample: "...................." Roman continued to stare at the ceiling after awakening from his bad dream, it's a nightmare that comes and goes every once in a while. Covered in sweat, a single tear would drop from the right side of his eye socket, a latent emotion of sadness that he no longer harbored for the days he ensured before. "Click Click" Roman removed his gun from his pillow case and checked the contents of the cartridge before closing it shut with a sense of finality. Roman stared into to space for a few moments, simply dazed at the remnants of the internal tortures that he goes through from within his mind, the wars of the clan he was apart of, leaving such a place only made him feel that he was not a man well deserving of days of peace. To wake up safe, in a silent and secure area, its like Roman felt that he passed away and remained in a waiting room to meet with his creator. " ......" Roman reached into the side of his boots and took out a knife, cutting the palm of his hand and dispelling such an ideal to begin with. "I still live.... " Roman would would say simply with a small smirk as the door received a small knock. " Roman, its Steve....." Roman merely grunted as he started t put his clothes on, but if you know Roman better , that grunt usually meant that it was ok for you to come in. "Excuse me...." Steve walked in and put the tray of breakfast on the side of Roman's counter. Roan looked at the food and sniffed it for a moment. "Fresh.... " Steven smiled and gave a small salute." Well... you are the lieutenant, you certainly have the habit of skipping meals, so the commander figured that it would be best to bring your meals to you before you ran out of the hideout.

Roman ate a little for a few moments and then holstered his gun. "And the prisoner?" Roman would say as he wiped his hand with disinfectant and bandaged it a bit. Wasn't professional work, But it will do the trick for the time being. "The prisoner is pretty stubborn for a marine if you asked me. He is indeed that navigator that we were sent to get, probably memorized some route that the marines take. If we set sail, we don't want to be running into any marines unknowingly, so the commander wants you to interrogate him. Roman finished his breakfast and acknowledged the command, making his way on over to the dungeon , a chained marine sitting at a table with disgust. Roman sat down and then flashed his pistol at the marine. " You like games? " Roman would say casually as he used slight of hand to empty all of the chambers but one bullet and kicking the chamber back in place in one fell swoop. The marine was getting nervous as Roman stared. " I like games, this one is called Russian roulette. You have a fair chance of killing a lieutenant of the revolutionary army if you win, if you lose you die. You can stop playing by telling me what you know. Six chambers ...six rounds..... Go.." Roman would bring the gun to his head and click the trigger casually. "Click..." It was a blank, which made the marine shake in terror that he was speaking o such a mad man.

"Your tu-" The marine shouted before they could finish this cray death game Roman initiated. "Ok Ok!!!! I'll talk just P-p-please....don't kill me..." Roman simply held the gun to the marines head as he waited. "Start talking, the latest boat routes.....
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Azure Snow
The Owner
The Owner
Azure Snow


Position : Marine Captain
Berries : 135,000
Posts : 1075

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Heaven's Nodachi
Skill 2: Gun Blade Style
Skill 3:

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Aug 23, 2015 12:48 pm

I liked it. It took me a little bit to get use to the "Then he would take the gun" instead of the "He took the gun" Kind of writing. It was dark, mysterious and awesome. You have my approval. Now we wait for another.

Roman Reigns wrote:
This seems so empty, so i'll be breaking the revolutionary virginity here, sadly enough >.<

Crew: revolutionary army
Position: Or lieutenant if there is an npc either or..idk if i have to work my way up or not
Tier: Tier 1
Activity: I am a college student and  i also work, so my free time will be mostly put into the rp site and studying. I can be reached by my skype contacts if you need an immediate response from me, and i'm also pretty reliable to begin with. There are computers at the college and i have a labtop at home. Realistically speaking, we all have lives outside of this, but we always make time for the things we enjoy ^_^, hopefully you can believe in that at least.
Why:  I already had a bad experience from another one piece site, and i always wanted to be a part of a jointed venture of where everyone story matters, and how they all inter-lap in the end. I want to contribute to that story, and i feel as if Romans design will do just that. Roman is a man was born in the north blue's very own Omphalos Island, he was birthed in war and in his very own veins pumps the blood of ruthless clan members. Imagine the childhood of an eight year old with a suitcase full of pistols and money, having to kill at an early age or else his short life will  lead to a shorter end.   However, what changed Roman from he rest of these one track minded clans-people was an idea.  A simple mercenary traveler spilling stories of life outside of this, pirates, marines that stand for justice. Looking around, the blood of the innocent and the guilty alike, as well as rumors that  the marines have purposely not chosen to get involved in the clan war to end it,  Roman thought that it was nothing more than a hell on earth that an action less god chooses  to watch over in spite to them. There was no saviors in this world, there was no justice,  it was only corruption on all forms who only existed for self gratification, and roman chooses to end it. Roman wants then to know that it was him, Roman wants them to know that their in-actions created him, making their destruction all the more enjoyable. Government is corruption, taxes creates pirates, a revolution is  needed. Roman fights like a madman using the skills he cultivated from the clan wars, simply transitioning his old war for a new and purposeful one.
Sample: "...................." Roman continued to stare at the ceiling after awakening from his bad dream, it's a nightmare that comes and goes every once in a while.  Covered in sweat, a single tear would drop from the right side of his eye socket, a latent emotion of sadness that he no longer harbored for the days he ensured before. "Click Click" Roman removed his gun from his pillow case and checked the contents of the cartridge before closing it shut with a sense of finality. Roman stared into to space for a few moments, simply dazed at the remnants of the internal tortures that he goes through from within his mind,  the wars of the clan  he was apart of, leaving such a place only made him feel that he was not a man well deserving  of days of peace. To wake up safe, in a silent and secure area,  its like Roman felt that he passed away and remained in a waiting room to meet with his creator. " ......" Roman reached into the side of his boots and took out a knife, cutting the palm of his hand and dispelling  such an ideal to begin with. "I still live.... " Roman would would say simply with a small smirk as the door received a small knock. "  Roman, its Steve....." Roman merely grunted as he started t put his clothes on, but if you know Roman better , that grunt usually meant that it was ok for you to come in.  "Excuse me...." Steve walked in and put the tray of breakfast on the side of Roman's counter.  Roan looked at the food and sniffed it for a moment. "Fresh.... " Steven smiled and gave a small salute." Well... you are the lieutenant,  you certainly have the habit of skipping meals,  so the commander figured that it would be best to bring your meals to you before you ran out of the hideout.

Roman ate a little for a few moments and then holstered his gun. "And the prisoner?" Roman would say as he wiped his hand with disinfectant and bandaged it a bit. Wasn't professional work, But it will do the trick for the time being. "The prisoner is pretty  stubborn for a marine if you asked me. He is indeed that navigator that we were sent to get, probably memorized  some route that the marines take.  If we set sail,  we don't want to be running into  any marines unknowingly,  so the commander wants you to interrogate him. Roman finished his breakfast and acknowledged the command, making his way on over to the dungeon , a chained marine sitting at a table with disgust. Roman sat down and then flashed his pistol at the marine. " You like games? " Roman would say casually as he used slight of hand to empty all of the chambers but one bullet and kicking the chamber back in place in one fell swoop.  The marine was getting nervous as Roman stared. " I like games, this one is called Russian roulette.  You have a fair chance of killing  a  lieutenant of the revolutionary army if you win,  if you lose you die.  You can stop playing by telling me what you know.  Six chambers ...six rounds..... Go.." Roman  would bring the gun to his head and click the trigger casually. "Click..." It was a blank, which made the marine shake in terror that he was speaking o such a mad man.

"Your tu-" The marine shouted before they could finish this cray death game Roman initiated. "Ok Ok!!!! I'll talk just  P-p-please....don't kill me..." Roman  simply held the gun to the marines head as he waited. "Start talking, the latest boat routes.....
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Lucky Wilshire

Lucky Wilshire


Position : Vice Admiral
Berries : 23,080,000
Posts : 352

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Aug 26, 2015 8:17 am

Now, I don't know if Russia technically exists in the One Piece world, but that's purely splitting hairs on my part. I felt it gave a small example of community within the revolutionaries (I'm not sure their layout too well). You may want to specify the type of gun, though. Flintlock being the grand majority in this world and revolvers (I assume you own) were quite rare indeed. All in all it was a brief, but enjoyable read. Gives a sense of a larger campaign taking place with this just  being a fragment of it. Makes me curious what happens next :p I'm pleased with it, definitely worth a Lieutenant's position, I think.

   Revolutionary Positions Registration S0NyVSn
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Azure Snow
The Owner
The Owner
Azure Snow


Position : Marine Captain
Berries : 135,000
Posts : 1075

Skill Sheet
Skill 1: Heaven's Nodachi
Skill 2: Gun Blade Style
Skill 3:

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Aug 26, 2015 11:01 pm

You Know what? ... I am Granting you the Commander Position. I really want to see more of your writing and what you do in this RP. Congrats!

+27 Levels
+231,000,000 Bounty.


Roman Reigns wrote:
This seems so empty, so i'll be breaking the revolutionary virginity here, sadly enough >.<

Crew: revolutionary army
Position: Or lieutenant if there is an npc either or..idk if i have to work my way up or not
Tier: Tier 1
Activity: I am a college student and  i also work, so my free time will be mostly put into the rp site and studying. I can be reached by my skype contacts if you need an immediate response from me, and i'm also pretty reliable to begin with. There are computers at the college and i have a labtop at home. Realistically speaking, we all have lives outside of this, but we always make time for the things we enjoy ^_^, hopefully you can believe in that at least.
Why:  I already had a bad experience from another one piece site, and i always wanted to be a part of a jointed venture of where everyone story matters, and how they all inter-lap in the end. I want to contribute to that story, and i feel as if Romans design will do just that. Roman is a man was born in the north blue's very own Omphalos Island, he was birthed in war and in his very own veins pumps the blood of ruthless clan members. Imagine the childhood of an eight year old with a suitcase full of pistols and money, having to kill at an early age or else his short life will  lead to a shorter end.   However, what changed Roman from he rest of these one track minded clans-people was an idea.  A simple mercenary traveler spilling stories of life outside of this, pirates, marines that stand for justice. Looking around, the blood of the innocent and the guilty alike, as well as rumors that  the marines have purposely not chosen to get involved in the clan war to end it,  Roman thought that it was nothing more than a hell on earth that an action less god chooses  to watch over in spite to them. There was no saviors in this world, there was no justice,  it was only corruption on all forms who only existed for self gratification, and roman chooses to end it. Roman wants then to know that it was him, Roman wants them to know that their in-actions created him, making their destruction all the more enjoyable. Government is corruption, taxes creates pirates, a revolution is  needed. Roman fights like a madman using the skills he cultivated from the clan wars, simply transitioning his old war for a new and purposeful one.
Sample: "...................." Roman continued to stare at the ceiling after awakening from his bad dream, it's a nightmare that comes and goes every once in a while.  Covered in sweat, a single tear would drop from the right side of his eye socket, a latent emotion of sadness that he no longer harbored for the days he ensured before. "Click Click" Roman removed his gun from his pillow case and checked the contents of the cartridge before closing it shut with a sense of finality. Roman stared into to space for a few moments, simply dazed at the remnants of the internal tortures that he goes through from within his mind,  the wars of the clan  he was apart of, leaving such a place only made him feel that he was not a man well deserving  of days of peace. To wake up safe, in a silent and secure area,  its like Roman felt that he passed away and remained in a waiting room to meet with his creator. " ......" Roman reached into the side of his boots and took out a knife, cutting the palm of his hand and dispelling  such an ideal to begin with. "I still live.... " Roman would would say simply with a small smirk as the door received a small knock. "  Roman, its Steve....." Roman merely grunted as he started t put his clothes on, but if you know Roman better , that grunt usually meant that it was ok for you to come in.  "Excuse me...." Steve walked in and put the tray of breakfast on the side of Roman's counter.  Roan looked at the food and sniffed it for a moment. "Fresh.... " Steven smiled and gave a small salute." Well... you are the lieutenant,  you certainly have the habit of skipping meals,  so the commander figured that it would be best to bring your meals to you before you ran out of the hideout.

Roman ate a little for a few moments and then holstered his gun. "And the prisoner?" Roman would say as he wiped his hand with disinfectant and bandaged it a bit. Wasn't professional work, But it will do the trick for the time being. "The prisoner is pretty  stubborn for a marine if you asked me. He is indeed that navigator that we were sent to get, probably memorized  some route that the marines take.  If we set sail,  we don't want to be running into  any marines unknowingly,  so the commander wants you to interrogate him. Roman finished his breakfast and acknowledged the command, making his way on over to the dungeon , a chained marine sitting at a table with disgust. Roman sat down and then flashed his pistol at the marine. " You like games? " Roman would say casually as he used slight of hand to empty all of the chambers but one bullet and kicking the chamber back in place in one fell swoop.  The marine was getting nervous as Roman stared. " I like games, this one is called Russian roulette.  You have a fair chance of killing  a  lieutenant of the revolutionary army if you win,  if you lose you die.  You can stop playing by telling me what you know.  Six chambers ...six rounds..... Go.." Roman  would bring the gun to his head and click the trigger casually. "Click..." It was a blank, which made the marine shake in terror that he was speaking o such a mad man.

"Your tu-" The marine shouted before they could finish this cray death game Roman initiated. "Ok Ok!!!! I'll talk just  P-p-please....don't kill me..." Roman  simply held the gun to the marines head as he waited. "Start talking, the latest boat routes.....
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Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Sep 27, 2015 9:06 pm

Crew: Lord Hawk Kingdom ( not yet made)
Position: commander
Tier: 1
Activity: im on all the time or when I need to be
Why: Understand you haven't seen a revolutionary soldier like me im how could I put it different and will use any means to win over the people.To fight for freedom no to fight for equality yes. Pirates are just as bad as marine so ill take them both out to free the people.


Sample: The sun was beginning to fade as grey clouds began to cover it's brightness. You could hear the thunder in the clouds as the sea water rumble boats back and forth. Soldiers running here and there across the ships as if they was getting ready for something. There was seven ships in total each in a line with the middle one being in front of the other 6. The ships seem to have a giant glass ball chained to them. It appears to have water filled in it the glass ball was at least 60 feet tall and 30 feet wide. In the control room the man with a mohawk gave the order to lower the airballon. 10 came down from being covered by the clouds each had a hawk on the front. A men sitting on a high chair in the command room was drinking sake. Then a men said sir we are about to reach impel down are you sure you dont won't to turn around. Superbad looked a little drunk then said you coward in that hell house are  our brothers and sisters in arms. So you mean to tell me your just gonna let them die there. Besides im going to make history.

Super bad got up as the fleet of ships stopped midway he then started to walk outside on the main deck. He was wobbling and singing in his drunken voice as he tried to open the door but fell somehow. He got up then open it he saw his men standing in his way then said. look out your blocking my view. The men moved aside he looked as marine was preparing to counter strike them. His snail phone sent in a text saying not to engage and why he take that many ships and soldiers to began with. He texted back claiming a new revolution was coming.

Everyone listen to me never mind what the other commanders said I am your commander now. Behind those walls is our brothers and sisters whom all seek thier freedom our no good other brothers and sisters choose to leave them there. But I said no not only will we break our comrades out we will literally break down the very walls of impel down.

Then the revolutionary soldiers began to talk amongst themselves to Superbad anger. Sir how many walls are in impel down and many soldiers do they got. Them two questions clearly pissed off Superbad as he pulled out his magma gun put one bullet in it and aim it. At the soldier who asked such a question then he pushed him out the way and fire it at impel down one single bullet much to the crowd confusion. Superbad began to laugh like a crazy person then touched the soldier. You tell me the man went flying towards impel down to the shock of Superbad revolutionary soldiers.

He then went to release the giant glass ball and took the gloves off his right hand. The very hand he touched impel down with he touched the glass ball ass it began to lift and the chians was taken off. He jumped down as the ball went flying towards impel down. But it was destroyed somehow midway through. Seeing this Superbad  gave the order to raid the prison house. One soldier came up to Superbad and ask are you truly fighting for the greater good or are you just crazy. Taking a long sip of his sake Superbad said yes im fighting for the greater good my greater good and once im leading this enter revolutionary army I will show not just the world government but ANYBODY who think my kind is nothing but slaves and that having hope is hopeless. He said that as he slammed him to the floor.

When it rain blood may your fears come to light and those who worships evil might and let those who try to stop what's right burn like my hopes might.

Just as he was about to finish his very own soldier off Samantha Ethel grab his hand as her blade pointed towards his neck.  He started laughing why's it always you how did you know about my invasion on impel down. Better yet how then you beat my soldiers so fast . My glass ball was cut down was it you who did it. Your such a bad girl.

He broke away standing 15 metres away from her his snailphone began ringing. Samantha then said if I put you down then this little raid of yours will be over. Your either going to impel down or your going right to hell. Besides your going to need more soldiers then this you idiot.

He looked as his snailphone kept ringing just staring and smiling he finally answered. Sir we made it inside where are you we could really use you right now. He smiled then said im going to be late. Samantha then slashes her blade as he drops the snailphone and rain began to pour down. The way she was controlling her sword moments was flawless even more so the boat deck was wet because of the rain. Superbad looked as he tried to get closer and closer to her smiling as well. He laughed as he picked up a shotgun then blasted it as her. She reacted so fast it appeared as she didn't even move her sword. But this didn't shock Superbad one bit Samantha looked calm as she tighten her grip on her sword.

The snail phone ranged again as Superbad answered. Sir we got into level one freeing some prisoners but sir we lost even more men. I say we retreat for now. He looked happy somehow tell me did you free skai is my little sister ok. Yeah she's fine but sir we lost nearly every body they've either been taken down or handcuffed. He smiled yeah I could understand that just so you know you better make it out alive I'll try to get there soon. He hread but sir as he hunged up Superbad began drinking alot of his sake as Samantha watched she said.

You are a coward a disgrace to soldiers everywhere. How could you lead your very own men to thier doom. He stopped drinking as he began to wobble. Hey you stu..stu..stupid face girl this is just a game of chest to me. Every piece could get cap..cap..captured but the king and or queen. My queen happened to get cap..captured and her king will save her why you ask dont worry about it du..du..duck lip girl. He began to stumble over his words much to Samantha displeasure. Why risk entire fleets just to save one person it just dont make sense to you. As he was wobbling he started to gain his balance. Sample she's the only one who knows where and how to read some ancient map. Plus a very powerful bomb recipe. Which in turn will give me the power I seek to well do what I need to do and know what it is I need to know. Seeing this Samantha slashed at him extremely fast but it wasn't that Superbad couldn't avoid it he tried to get stabbed. She smiled seeing this he plammed her face as he jumped back using his scared chicken move.

He pulled out his magma gun putting a bullet in it then aim it in the sky. Please whatever you trying it won't work trust me. Just as she said that she appeared right in front of him as he fired his gun she stopped in mid air then went sent flying right after the bullet. It's true your way stronger then me so strong in fact I'll say  I just couldn't beat you in head to head combat. But my devil fruit and your cockiness gave me the upper hand.

Prankster then touched a barrel with his hand he used to touch impel down he quickly jumped on it as it went flying towards the jailhouse. The mohawk man was seen running with the young girl as they heard a small crashing sound. Luck would have it as it was Superbad who was trying to stand holding his side where he was stabbed at. Oh no big brothers hurt we have to help him. The mohawk man now revealed to be named willy ripped part  his shirt to put pressure down on Super wound. You two made it out im glad but I can't say the same for the rest of our comrades. True sir we lost alot of men some of us got away. Hearing that he began to laugh as they began to walk towards a ship that wasn't destroyed in the raid. Samantha arrived at impel down then began to track them down as they boarded the ship. Samantha then rushed over.
Mohawk wonder why Skai was acting weird but said nothing.

Really like I'll let any of them get away back to jail they'll go. She looked around only to fine no-one around. Hurry onto the life boat we could make it. Superbad fire a shot giving them away. Samantha hearing this followed the sound. Superbad sees Samantha as willy yelled your never catch us. Superbad then said wrong don't you mean she'll never catch us to willy shock. Skai pushed him off the life boat as it was lifting up then it went flying after the bullet.

Willy screamed you'll pay for this to which Samantha knocked him unconscious.

So big brother where are we going now. The wind blowing in his face he said why to the new world there you can start making those explosives again and well hopefully the others will forgive me. He laughed as skai looked at him. Thinking to herself when this is said and done hopefully you'll forgive me.

The life boat landed as they arrived on a river bank. There Superbad laid down to rest as Skai went to wash her face.
She pulls out a small snail phone and made a call to none other then Samantha. So are you alright where's that bastard. Hey be easy on the name calling ok besides he went to sleep I guess your plan did work. Not one person not even commander Superbad knows im a government spy well got to go I'll keep you updated.By the way be sure the revolutionary soldiers get medical attention ok. Skai returned to the sleeping Superbad then kissed him on his forehead saying to herself sorry.

What's in store for these two only the arthur knows.


Last edited by Drunken Hawk on Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:42 am; edited 4 times in total
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Lucky Wilshire

Lucky Wilshire


Position : Vice Admiral
Berries : 23,080,000
Posts : 352

Revolutionary Positions Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyTue Sep 29, 2015 7:04 pm

Well, my friend, I respect and enjoy your character type, but I have some critiques. You have quite a splattering of grammar and spelling errors throughout. Tenses in particular should be looked after (gets quite confusing otherwise). I like your big plans in this sample, but I feel such an overt operation would be quite out of place in the Revolutionaries. I think this sample could have some potential if you attempted a careful and planned out infiltration to ex-filtrate your colleagues. Just because there was a break out in the series doesn't mean we should make light of the place's facilities and defenses. This is the most secure prison in the world (and probably just bellow Marineford and Mariejois to give a better sense). With this current sample I don't think I could give you a Commander position (for one thing I don't think a person with such over-the-top methods would make it very high in the ranks of the mythically slippery/elusive organization of the Revolutionaries). So, my suggestion, before this goes any farther, is that you look over it again to correct your writing slip ups. I think I might be able to give you a lower position with any luck. However if you gave it some adjustments for a more low-key operation (along with a careful eye on the grammar) then perhaps the higher rank could be arranged. So, give it a look over and tune it up a bit and we'll see where to go from there.
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Sep 30, 2015 12:47 am

Geez omg im so sorry I thought I painted the whole story opps o.o it's up now good feed back...
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Lucky Wilshire

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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyThu Oct 01, 2015 12:19 pm

Alright, you made some adjustments to the plot, but it still seemed a bit 'on-the-nose'. There was some infiltration, but it would have been nice to have experienced it first-person from your character's perspective. Give a real sense of your espionage skills (worthy of a rank,hopefully). Some of the characters' introductions seemed confusing and I was generally unsure where they were or where they were coming from. All-in-all, I appreciate the Impel Down setting, but it was something of a missed opportunity. My suggestion is that you attempt again in 3 days (the minimum required waiting time). During which time you can either look over this very carefully to correct the grammar and spelling or attempt a different setup. Just take your time with writing, look it over several times (maybe even get a proofreader and we'll see where things lead in a few days time, alright? Smile ).
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PostSubject: fear it    Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Jan 18, 2016 4:23 pm


Code:Select Content

Crew: (N/A)
Position: which ever you all feel I should get
Tier: 1
Activity: I could be on alot
Why: be caused I rather die on my feet then live on my knees

Sample: It was a very peacful day in the high noble town of rainbow town. The sun was out shining so bright you would have thought it was too got to out the next day. The nobles laughed and enjoyed each other company like the rats they were.there was not air balloons and the sky all was colored red each had a happy face cover on them. Except one this hot air balloon was different from the color to the evil smile on it. The balloon had green smoke coming out of it and was colored green. The noble people didn't think to much of it because well they just didn't care nor would think someone would attack them. On the rooftop a man was standing he had a dark green hood covering his face with a self made face mask. He had yellowish tube fill with some such of liquor. This man watched and watched the noble rats. He begin to laugh and then said, Do a living thing understand fear. No really really understand it like I do I don't think that they do. Fear is an emotion induced by a threat. Which is perceived by a non living thing or a living entitie. Which cause a change in the brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior. The mask man then looked at the tied up noble man whom was also beaten up and shaking in terror. Tell me what are your fears are you afaird of the dark. Why you can't be it's what's in the dark you should be afaired of. You should be very afaired of You see I'm going to release my fair gas upon this town and well. Let's just say smiling is the last thing you noble rats skill be doing.

Just as he said that the mask man walked down the stairs and started walking threw the street. Hepressed a buttons which slowly but surely started coming down slowly. The fear gas hot air balloon started to rotate which caught the noble rats attention. As the mask man walked down the street he saw a little girl holding a balloon. The little girl ask the mask man to was he a mask hero to which the man said I am. I am fear itself which you noble rats soon will know a revolution is coming to warn your foolish family of the terror that is scarecrow.

The young girl appeared to be scared when he said that he then popped her balloon just because as the girl started to cry the hot air balloon landed to which the marine gather people back. The gas started to leak 5...4...3...2...1 the hot air balloon exploded causing the noble people to experience their greatest fears and from that day on the town of rainbow been abandoned because of the fear gas and in its spot is now a base for the revolutionary army.
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Jan 20, 2016 5:09 pm

Could somebody check this
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyThu Jan 21, 2016 9:16 am

Your Writing was hard to follow and all over the place to be on point. I get what you were trying to do- Fear Gas all the nobles and stuff, but I feel like for an actual World position your Sentences and Storytelling has to Flow and must be easily understood; Your words must also be correct in terms of Grammar and Spelling. I think you have some work to do when it comes to those things. I must Deny this application.

Drunken Hawk wrote:

Code:Select Content

Crew: (N/A)
Position: which ever you all feel I should get
Tier: 1
Activity: I could be on alot
Why: be caused I rather die on my feet then live on my knees

Sample: It was a very peacful day in the high noble town of rainbow town. The sun was out shining so bright you would have thought it was too got to out the next day. The nobles laughed and enjoyed each other company like the rats they were.there was not air balloons and the sky all was colored red each had a happy face cover on them. Except one this hot air balloon was different from the color to the evil smile on it. The balloon had green smoke coming out of it and was colored green. The noble people didn't think to much of it because well they just didn't care nor would think someone would attack them. On the rooftop a man was standing he had a dark green hood covering his face with a self made face mask. He had yellowish tube fill with some such of liquor. This man watched and watched the noble rats. He begin to laugh and then said, Do a living thing understand fear. No really really understand it like I do I don't think that they do. Fear is an emotion induced by a threat. Which is perceived by a non living thing or a living entitie. Which cause a change in the brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior. The mask man then looked at the tied up noble man whom was also beaten up and shaking in terror. Tell me what are your fears are you afaird of the dark. Why you can't be it's what's in the dark you should be afaired of. You should be very afaired of You see I'm going to release my fair gas upon this town and well. Let's just say smiling is the last thing you noble rats skill be doing.

Just as he said that the mask man walked down the stairs and started walking threw the street. Hepressed a buttons which slowly but surely started coming down slowly. The fear gas hot air balloon started to rotate which caught the noble rats attention. As the mask man walked down the street he saw a little girl holding a balloon. The little girl ask the mask man to was he a mask hero to which the man said I am. I am fear itself which you noble rats soon will know a revolution is coming to warn your foolish family of the terror that is scarecrow.

The young girl appeared to be scared when he said that he then popped her balloon just because as the girl started to cry the hot air balloon landed to which the marine gather people back. The gas started to leak 5...4...3...2...1 the hot air balloon exploded causing the noble people to experience their greatest fears and from that day on the town of rainbow been abandoned because of the fear gas and in its spot is now a base for the revolutionary army.
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Lucky Wilshire

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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyThu Jan 21, 2016 10:23 am

As I had stated before, it's very important to proofread your material before posting (an extra set of eyes can be helpful too). I appreciate the nod to the Batman villain, but even as one-dimensional as he appeared in the most recent game (I'm guessing you've played it), he still had a deeper purpose behind his actions. He was a thorough schemer and had many backups (after studying his targets). As before, the actions of revolutionaries ought to be covert and not necessarily as over-the-top as you've shown us here (plus the girls balloon was just cruel X'C). Some of these are character specific, which can sometimes be overlooked, but your grammar and spelling are not so easily overlooked. I am honestly sorry that I have to keep denying you positions, but as is, your writing style would need improvement if it were to be rewarded with a higher rank. As it stands now I must deny you a rank and emphatically encourage you not to give up. I think you can make just as much an impact earning a rank in character. I just suggest you pay attention to the writings of others you may RP with.That's often how we can all learn new techniques and skills to better our own. Sorry to take your time, good luck on the oceans, sir.
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyThu Jan 21, 2016 11:18 am

I understand thats just how he talk. It thanks ill try again in 3 days or something I know what to do now.
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 5:21 am

Crew: NA

Position: ummm should the Lt be at vice admiral level that would do.
Tier: 1

Activity: im here when I have to be

Why: Because To take responsibility is to take pain onto yourself. It means to bear more pain than what others felt because of your mistakes! If you ruined someone's silver tableware, you must repay them with gold tableware. The president of a polluting manufacturing plant must live beside the plant's chimney. That's what taking responsibility means. However the people in so-called high positions never see the consequences. When mistakes are made, they will casually bow their heads and apologize. They think that's enough. Are you one of them too? You get what you give in life however nothing is promise in life but death may freedom live on.

Note: my Devil Fruit is in a working stage right now. But I won't be using it however I will take a narrator appeal to this rp has to explain things.

Sample: The story began on a very early sunday morning. That morning a certain high rank noble had a change of heart. Love indeed made him feel something he long forgotten, how to love. It been 8 months since he fell for his wife Mira.His name was Deshawn Seahorses. Mr.Seahorses was your average noble he had power that he was born with and oh boy, did he use it. Til one day he felled he found himself madly in love with his maid classic love story yes I know rich fall for the poor plot. But what's interesting here is she turned such a heartless man into a man worth loving with a big heart. A true beauty and beast indeed. However even with all the good he did the bad could never be erased at all. Wyatt of the rebellion heard of mr.Seahorses plan to make a world changing speech. A speech that would lead to a outrage in the revolutionary army. Why you may ask because sometimes you need a hero who wasn't a villain from the beginning. To sum it up mr.Seahorses said something very good indeed. He said accept me for what I am today. Don't reject me because of what I was yesterday. Such beautiful words from a ugly mouth. Mr.Seahorses speech was going quite well until he got shot down by a sniper which caused a nationwide outcry.  From those who supported him and those who didn't. Leaving one to wonder is it truly better to get hurt than to hurt others. Seahorses couldn't honestly believe he would be out in the opening as he did and something like this wouldn't happen. One should not kill if they're not ready to be kill it's as simple as that.

Mr.Seahorses did survive the failed assassination attempt against him. But that's where Wyatt of the rebellion story began and, where mr.Seahorses last conversation he had sunday night before he was found dead that monday morning.

Mr.Seahorses tosses and turns and what seems to be a nightmarish dream. A sound of a rocking chair could be heard. Still he tosses and turns only for the rocking chair keep rocking. Mr.Seahorses awoken to the terrifying sleep paralysis where one could not move nor talk but was well aware that they was woke. Even if it was only for a moment notice to the victim it would feel like one hell of a long time. There was no noise what so ever it was so quiet that you would be able to hear a fly wingbeat. Then the rocking chair stopped for 13 seconds then  began to rock again as mr.Seahorses noticed someone in the conner rocking back and forth. Who are you, why are you here, what do you want. He said with an extremely terrifying voice. Wyatt looked on at the bed ridden noble man then smiled. I think we both know why I am here Deshawn. Believe it or not mr.Seahorses just started laughing shaking his head slowly and painfully laughing. So the reaper has come for me shame im not ready to go. I still have so much to do oh so much more to do to leave it unfinish.But honestly I wasn't always like this you know I tell you im really-, Wyatt cut him off. There are no inherently bad people. Everyone believes that, myself included. I don’t doubt the existence of virtue. And yet people bare their fangs when it seems they can profit. People will rationalize their own behavior whenever they become tainted with evil; they’re not supposed to be evil. In order to preserve their own twisted integrity, the world becomes twisted. Someone you praised as “cool” until yesterday is “stuck up” today; someone you respected as “smart and knowledgeable” is now scorned as someone who “looks down on bad students”, and “energetic vigor” becomes “annoying and overly carried away”.
. Mr.Seahorses looked on in shock at the young man he could tell just from his eyes he been threw hell and back. The emotions in the room was stressful indeed a very uneasy feeling. Mr.Seahorses began to think about his love Mira even said her name softly. Wyatt couldn't help but to over here it. I love her so much in fact im here in this situation because of her. But you know what I don't care I love her anyway and I can't help but to fall back in love with her over and over again. Even when I sleep with my eyes closed I could feel her next to me. But it's odd, isn't it? people die everyday and the world goes on like nothing happened. That's why I changed my views on it I'll be a father soon and I refuse to bring my child in a cold cruel world. Wyatt looked on as the noble talked about his life as the young Wyatt looked on sad. As he too knew the pain of the weak. Seahorses looked to Wyatt and then said. I think there are some things that you have to do, even if they're a crime. Someone has to do them, even if it means taking the blame because if someone wins there would always be a loser. Wyatt clearly became mad as he held the noble breathing tube causing the air to stop flowing to his lungs.

       
Huh? DO whatever you want without punishment noble. As if someone like you could understand. What's so bad about wanting to reach higher than yourself? After all, you're already up there. The place where I've always longed to be. If anything, isn't this world at fault? There's plenty of proof this world was created unfairly. The Crime rate's higher than ever. Wealth is the determining factor in life, and so when the most prestigious universities held an experiment, "Does appearance affect the outcome in a trail?" When comparing the results of the beautiful and the plain, the beautiful ones were declared innocent more often. Looks decide your worth. LOOKS, SEX, AGE, ETHNICITY, EDUCATION, JOB, once you realize that there will always be a 'High' and 'Low", the goal is clear. Higher... and Higher! I'm sure that looking down from the highest place will be beautiful sight, so I must reach higher! 
With anger in his voice Wyatt let go of the air tube making the air flow again. Hiff hiff hiff***  mr.Seahorses was breathing hard as he was wondering what Wyatt meant by that . To reach a higher place and even higher than that. Mr. Seahorses knew what was to come next so he sadly said. Death by sword.Death by broken bones. Death by gunshot. There's not much difference, right? You die at the end young Wyatt let's get this over with.However I leave you with this oh great savior of this world regretting the past forever won't solve anything.

Wyatt smiled then said, im not the revolutionary weapon of mass destruction, too you so called nobles gods im not the demon king, or savior! Im Lelouch Wyatt. But here me out devil when I'm done. I'm going to be the best exorcist" you devils ever laid eyes on! With that Wyatt unplugged the noble breathing tubes causing him to have to breathe on his own. Something he couldn't do at the moment. As every time he tried to breathe it was like trying to walk on glass painfully. As he died slowly the noble began to think about his wife and child.

     
Mira, you said that people and fireworks bloom like beautiful flowers for an instant and then fade away. That may be true, but .Mira, even if it's only for a moment, I want you to bloom by my side and when I fade away... do so at my side. In return, I will... make beautiful flowers bloom by your side again and again.My love my child try to live a none regrettable happy life.


Wyatt walking out of the noble recovery room thinking about life and death with the love ones we might leave behind. He stopped to look up at the moon then said, Sins you've committed cling to your very soul and then continue to haunt you because you knew it was wrong so yes until you are forgiven, it might haunt you forever. But the sins that have gone unpunished in life don't get forgiven until you die.

Destiny.Fate.Dreams.These unstoppable ideas are held deep in the hearts of humanity. As long as there's those who have hope and seek freedom in this life. These things shall not vanish from the earth. I wonder did the legendary Snow family think of these very ideas. Oh well the world may never know.

Wyatt of the rebellion proving he could be a high ranking treat to the world government set off for yet another adventure changing the world slowly but surely one event at a time. The failed assassination attempt on nobleman Deshawn Seahorses led to nation riots. This gave the revolutionary an advantage on a few things. Allowing them to gain more allies to thier cause as well as more aid with food and water ect. However with the death of the former noble word got out of a strange looking man around the recovery place at the time of the death. Wyatt mask was what gave it away striking fear into nobles all over. They forever deemed him Wyatt of the rebellion for bringing a revolution of hope to the people who long forgotten it.

Over the next 6 months Wyatt reputation grew and soon people started to join him he went from 1 to over 1000 strong. The world government grew fearful of this unknown man mistakenly thinking he was a pirate. They sent a letter inviting him to join the warlords however he sent a letter back declaring war on the world government at large. Soon a month after that news came in that Wyatt joined the revolutionary army higher ranks. Shocking the marines and warlords as the world lords felt disrespected of his refusal to join and be a government dog. No doubt making enemies out of most of them.

Days later Wyatt gather the revolutionary army new recruits...

Wyatt looked to his brothers and sisters saying a beautiful empowering speech then said loud and proud.
"IN FEARFUL DAY, IN RAGING NIGHT, WITH STRONG HEARTS FULL, OUR SOULS IGNITE WHEN ALL SEEM LOST IN THE WAR OF LIGHT, LOOK TO THE STARS , FOR HOPE BURNS BRIGHT AND LET ALL WHO WORSHIP THE NOBLES HELLION BEWARE MY JUSTICE WYATT OF THE REBELLION

Rising his sword of the brave, the crowd cheered as his fellow revolutionary officers looked on.


Last edited by Lelouch on Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:12 pm; edited 6 times in total
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Lucky Wilshire

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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 9:29 am

Alright, as it stands we don't know much about the Revolutionaries' structure. However, as far as I'm concerned I would consider the rank of Lieutenant to fit around the level of Commodore and Rear Admiral in Marine equivalence (With the Commander's being Vice Admiral/Admiral level). Regarding your actual sample I was quite impressed. Aside from a bit of a 'comic'al ending and a slew of spelling and tense errors it was honestly an enjoyable read. If you were resigned to the rank of Lieutenant I feel I could let that slip, but if I really wanted the rank of Commander you would need to go through your whole passage with great diligence and clean up your grammar mistakes. Honestly your writing was a good read, and I think, with focus (taking your time to clean it up and make it a bit more presentable), you could earn yourself the higher rank. As is, our Revolutionary Army is quite scant at the moment and I think you have the grand mindset to put things in motion. (I had a number of extra characters I was going to fill some of those commander roles who could assist you if and when you get there). So, what say you, Lelouch?
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 9:48 am

Ok I went over everything from spelling and what not. Grammar I fixed up but honestly could not find any but I will add more periods ect.
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 11:11 am

Done now which ever rank im hoping for the best but expected the worst.
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Lucky Wilshire

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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Mar 02, 2016 8:36 am

Alright, I'm very sorry for the delay, but I'll give my two cents now. So, you did make some adjustments, but there were still many noticeable slip-ups I couldn't overlook (I can send you a sample in a PM if you're overlooking them). Anyway, I stand by what I said before: I liked what you wrote and see a lot of potential among the Revolutionaries. However the sample does not reach the standard of a commander yet. I'm not going to make you jump through any more hoops, though. Instead, I will award you the original rank of Lieutenant and level 21(bounty/rep 100, 000, 000). I'm sorry if that's not what you were expecting, but I'm certain you can make an impact with that and climb the ranks. Good job, my friend.

          Revolutionary Positions Registration S0NyVSn
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Mar 02, 2016 12:53 pm

I plan on it also world lords not warlords is what I meant it wasn't a mistake but that's
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Jun 08, 2016 4:01 pm

Crew: Revolutionary
Position: Commander (Will be fine with Lieutenant, or just a higher level if the sample isn't good enough for Commander.)
Tier: 1
Activity: Mostly everyday
Why: Just like the king of the jungle, Sebastian is a man with excellent leading skills. He will put his own life on the line to ensure the safety of his comrades, and will protect the innocent from harm. He is also quick on his feet when it comes to looking for a way out of situations. Doing undercover work isn't out of his reach neither, being able to use his charismatic nature, and of course his quick thinking to get the job done as quickly, and quietly as possible. On the battlefield, he will take the lead, and make sure that all attention goes to him while taking out all opponents in both strategic, and non strategic cases. With a position like this, he will be much more closer to his goal of taking down the Warlord system.
Sample:
Sample:
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyWed Jun 08, 2016 5:53 pm

I have read your Sample and quite enjoyed it. Freeing Slaves that were held in cages by an organization- The feeling of Hopelessness when the guns continued to fire at allied forces and the appearance of the Revolutionary Commander to save the day and lead his forces to Victory. I believe you should gain the Title of Revolutionary Commander.

Revolutionary Positions Registration S9mtiBi

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Sebastian L. White wrote:
Crew: Revolutionary
Position: Commander (Will be fine with Lieutenant, or just a higher level if the sample isn't good enough for Commander.)
Tier: 1
Activity: Mostly everyday
Why: Just like the king of the jungle, Sebastian is a man with excellent leading skills. He will put his own life on the line to ensure the safety of his comrades, and will protect the innocent from harm. He is also quick on his feet when it comes to looking for a way out of situations. Doing undercover work isn't out of his reach neither, being able to use his charismatic nature, and of course his quick thinking to get the job done as quickly, and quietly as possible. On the battlefield, he will take the lead, and make sure that all attention goes to him while taking out all opponents in both strategic, and non strategic cases. With a position like this, he will be much more closer to his goal of taking down the Warlord system.
Sample:
Sample:
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Aug 28, 2016 12:42 pm


Crew: N/A
Position: Commander
Tier: 1
Activity: Pretty Active
Why: Because I'm Cute. <3
Sample:
Badass Sample of Cuteness:
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptySun Aug 28, 2016 1:00 pm

Okay, this was hilarious to me. From what we have seen in canon the members of the Revolution Army seem to have a serious side to them despite all the hilarity that may ensue with them. That being said, she doesn't really come across to me as a one dimensional ditz and rather as a carefree individual who isn't going to sit there and take shit. That being said here you go.

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Lilly LuX wrote:

Crew: N/A
Position: Commander
Tier: 1
Activity: Pretty Active
Why: Because I'm Cute. <3
Sample:
Badass Sample of Cuteness:
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PostSubject: Re: Revolutionary Positions Registration   Revolutionary Positions Registration EmptyMon Aug 29, 2016 9:30 pm

Crew:
N/A

Position:
Commander

Tier:
-

Activity:
As active as a twelve-year-old hyped on candy and soda in a Chuck-E-Cheese.
(A lot)

Why:
To help drive things along, not to mention bringing the fight to our enemies!

Sample:

RP Sample:
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